


This is MAMMM

by odilette



Category: Jurassic Park (Movies), Jurassic World (2015)
Genre: Bad Fic, F/M, high heels of misandry, minions are evil, six pack abs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-16 14:03:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4628031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/odilette/pseuds/odilette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Owen realizes the world is about the change with the evolution of a new, dangerous species. Claire rocks her super high heels of misandry. BD Wong's name is forgotten once again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is MAMMM

"What did you cook up in that lab!?" Owen demands, not daring to break eye contact with the dangerous new...things.

Claire glances at BD Wong, who simply shrugs his shoulders in that zen-Asian-stereotype way.

"You have to understand, Owen, we needed something new, something that would get people to talk, to be pulled in to the magic of the park again," Claire replies, walking up to Owen with the click-clackety of her heels of misandry against the soft, squishy mud. Screw Physics.

"This is no magic, Claire. This is the end of civilization as we know it. This is....This is MAMMM!" Owen exclaims, backing up and shielding his employer who was definitely NOT sexy and attractive and alluring to him. Nope, not at all. There was no way he was getting distracted from the matter at hand by her gorgeous eyes and shampoo-smelling hair and nice fingers and rockin' bod...

"MAMMM!?" Claire shrieks, breaking Owen out of a not-so-PG-13 daydream. Owen nods his head slightly, eyes still focused on the creatures, silently yelling with his super sexy six pack 'I AM ALPHA. STAY AWAY FROM ME AND MY MATE AND THE WEIRD DUDE FROM SVU.'

"Yes, Claire," Owen whispers through clenched teeth. "MAMMM has come to Earth. The time has arrived..." Owen closes his sex eyes for greater effect to try and woo his Claire. Girls dig sensitive guys, yeah?

"Claire..." he whispers, breaking eye contact with the beasts to look her in her dazzling, luminescent, radiant, shining, glowing, rolling, convulsing eyes.

"The Middle-Aged Mom Minion Meme is upon us."

FIN

**Author's Note:**

> (AKA where Buzzfeed inspired me and I decided to try my hand at some bad fic) (originally posted on a friend's FB wall although I wrote it before I posted it XP)


End file.
